The Rock & Roll Chef®

BEING AHEAD OF YOUR TIME MEANS YOU STARVE UNTIL THE REST OF THE WORLD CATCHES UP.

Unfortunately, this is a quote I have both coined and experienced firsthand. I would also offer that the key to success - in one's own lifetime, anyway - is to be JUST ENOUGH ahead of everything; say, 6 months to a year out. Certainly no more than 5 years out.

This Halloween season, I had a bittersweet experience while shopping for some craft tools at Joanne Fabrics (is it wrong to admit I dig arts & crafts stores? I've certainly made some nice coin, courtesy of that industry). While at the store, I noticed a pumpkin carving product from Pumpkin Masters that "borrowed" (i.e., stole) a concept I pioneered with X-Acto with my "Halloween Carving Kit" years ago: Self adhesive sheets for the pumpkin templates.

Granted, Halloween truly is "knockoff city." Most of the craptastic products are made in China, they come & go within a year or two, and it's extremely difficult - if not impossible - to police your proprietary goodies. It takes months to develop a lot of the stuff, get the prototypes overseas, manufacture it, etc. And then it takes 3 months "on the water" to get from China to US ports. The fight is usually won or lost by the time the fall season hits. Fact is, if you ever want to learn the real-world difference between copyrights and trademarks - and which one has more teeth in a US court of law - I invite you to enter the Halloween industry.

For the record, I'm pretty much out of the industry these days - I really could care less if I never carved another pumpkin as long as I lived. I do, however, do a select few for my own purposes as gifts to companies or people I want to start a dialogue with and/or reward. But that's another story - here's the rest of this one.

THE WHOLE REASON I DEVELOPED my pumpkin carving kit for X-Acto was pretty much as a response to the shitty shitty pumpkin carving kits on the market at the time. These Pumpkin Master kits not only featured AWFUL, flimsy saw blade tools that broke if you breathed on them the wrong way; they also had a STOOPID technique where they wanted you or a kid (with an attention span of a gnat) to punch a boatload of holes around the image on their templates (patterns) to outline the design. Right. It took forever before you could even start to carve the image - totally lame.

I had been doing carving demos at Chicago's Navy Pier for about a month, and quickly figured out that trying to accommodate hundreds of kids with any sort of urgency was not going to go well with the Pumpkin Masters method. Instead, I created my own templates, featuring adapted art for everything from Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, "The Scream," sports logos, aliens, etc. From there, I used some spray adhesive to slap the templates on the pumpkins, and they were ready to rock. FYI, I also never saw anyone else do this: I used a door-handle circular saw-tooth bit to clean out the insides of the pumpkins.

From there, I thought the same idea would work without the spray, only we'd use self-adhesive, peeloff sheets on the templates. And it did work, and that's what X-Acto did for my kit.

NOTE: I just took a look around online for an image of their product (didn't find it); but I have to say one thing: After looking at all the different pumpkin carving kits I could find, I challenge anyone to show me a better-produced kit than what I did for X-Acto. In addition to my original template designs, it also featured a solid tool (interchangeable heavy-duty X-Acto saw blade with handle); inner booklet with illustrations by Monte Beauchamp; history of Halloween, recipes, etc.

In case anyone is wondering if it's possible Pumpkin Masters arrived at this idea themselves, the answer is..... hell no. I vividly remember the PM owners checking out my stuff while I exhibited at the Halloween & Party Show in Rosemont, IL, years ago; while they are certainly no strangers to "knockoff city," they cannot claim they weren't aware of my technique years ahead of them. What, no kiss? Not even a thank you?

So here's me, looking at a "new" product stolen from my archives, wondering yet again - why is it that all these thieves & copycats seem to thrive without repercussion, while the artists, originals & pioneers get kicked to the curb with nary a dime?

Labels: monte beauchamp, pumpkin masters, rock n roll halloween, rock n roll kitchen show x-acto carving kit

... they'd let Dale walk?"

MAYBE YOU'VE SEEN SOME RECENT press about Dale Bozzio (singer for Missing Persons) and her "cat trouble?" I actually hadn't heard a thing about it until she showed up here at the studio last Friday on her way from California to do 30 days in some small town jail in New Hampshire next week (yikes!). My first thought: WHAT A CRAPPY LAWYER - FIRE HIM IMMEDIATELY! But my second thought: Consider the old saying that "any publicity is good publicity."

I'm always looking to make lemonade out of lemons; In Dale's case, it appears she's finally ready to move forward with something I've been talking with her about for awhile: Her own line of gourmet food & wine. She's always been big into cooking Italian food, which speaks to her Italian/French heritage. After spending some time with her this weekend, it also dawns on me maybe it's time someone acknowledged her role in the success of Missing Persons (much more than being the singer), plus the incredible quality of musicians and artists she's been able to befriend & work with in her career (more soon...)

Labels: dale bozzio missing persons

Although most folks would never have a reason to consider it, I've discovered nearly an equal amount of snakes & outright liars populating the food industry AND music industry (about the only difference I can see is the way in which the kick in the nuts is delivered).

The latest dirtbags on my list include Chicagoland Speedway and The Taste Of Atlanta. They join "Whole Paycheck" (Foods) and Euro RSCG in the hall of shame for outrageous/unethical behavior.

Don't get me wrong: I'm no amateur, and know all the rules before committing time & talent to any project or show (i.e., signed contract and/or money up front before leaving town). These two organizations, however, both had extenuating circumstances (geographically friendly and/or prior relationships); but both ended up costing me $$$.

But here's a political question: Is it better just to take the hit, not mention a thing, and hope there's a deal to be cut down the road? Or go for "full disclosure," let it all burn, air the laundry, and vow to never deal with these people again? Discuss...

This has NOTHING to do with food or music - although I was looking for a new DVD player to quality proof the authored DVDs I'm knocking out these days. This is about something I witnessed in a south Chicago suburban Target which got me thinking about a few things, especially juxtaposed against our current political climate. That is to say: Litigious, race cards & accusations of race being thrown around everywhere, invasion of privacy - you name it.

I'll get to the main story in a minute, but when the checkout girl said they'd need to scan my driver's license to buy a bottle of wine - I said HELL NO. I'm obviously well over 21 to anyone who's not blind, and I have never had anyone ask to scan/digitize my ID before to make a simple (cash) purchase. Even though part of my life is in the spotlight, I've always had a funny feeling about & been resistant about giving up my info to anyone. But that's a different conversation - here's the main story:

As I walked into the Target, I noticed 5 or 6 teenage girls sitting by the little food court, maybe 13 or 14, all pretty much dressed the same (shorts, tank tops, flip flops, light jewelry - the tribal/gang thing most teenagers do naturally), having a fairly rowdy good time, no adult supervision in sight. I remember thinking about how it was like being at that age - testing boundaries, trying to crack up your pals, seeing who could be the most bold or outrageous.

I went my way, checking out various stuff, breaking down the layout like I always do in stores (i.e., POP displays, lighting, large format print ads, inventory, flow of the store; I know, I'm a freak that way). Before long, I noticed the crap-tastic Halloween inventory was already out (and it's mid-September). And then I heard the teenage girls being loud nearby; and then I saw something else.

It was a mid 30-ish Target employee - red shirt & khaki pants with a walkie talkie on her belt - coming up fast, and getting on those girls like a duck on a junebug (as they say). She had a very stern delivery: "If you girls aren't going to buy anything, you need to take off those Halloween masks and move along. Otherwise I'm calling security." A few other Target clones came onto the scene, and I heard some chatter on their walkies; the girls calmed down a little, and did seem to be moving along (I didn't stick around to see the outcome).

And now... Before I tell you what COLOR OF SKIN the girls or the stern employee had - can you figure out what I was thinking at that moment? Here it is: I was wondering what would have happened if the girls had been a different color/race - would that scenario had played out differently? Would there have been a complaint to the store? Or even a lawsuit? Or an embellishment of what was actually said by the employee? Even though I thought the employee was well within her responsibilities to lay down the law, we've all heard stories about crazy stuff happening in these big box/corporate chain stores.

Like I said - I'm a freak, and my mind just gets carried away a lot of times. And now (big finish): The skin color of all the teenage girls and the stern employee was (scroll down for answer)...













..... white.

Although I keep it on the DL ("downlow") because of its VERY rough exterior, I bartered some design work with a client a few years back for their company car - a 1990 Honda Civic. I didn't think much of it at the time - I mean, it didn't really cost me anything BUT time - but as time went on, it started to amaze me about what an amazing piece of automotive technology that car is. Just last week, it went over the 250,000 mile mark.

Did I mention I barely put any maintenance or work into it? I've never had the oil changed since I've had it (it does burn a little, not bad); it's never had a tuneup. I've replaced the muffler, alternator and brake pads & rotors - that's it. Hell, it even got stolen once! After I got it back from the City of Chicago auto pound (also crooks, in my opinion, but that's another story), the only thing missing was the sun visors (!?!?!?!).

Unfortunately, although the engine & mechanicals are amazing, the body is quickly returning to its rusty roots, and I know I'll have to get a different ride soon. I guess I'm wondering what kind of vehicle could possibly match this little Honda for mileage, durability & low maintenance? Viva La 90 Honda Civic!

I have to note how stealing art (music) seems to be as nonchalant these days as buying a cup of coffee. Case in point: Someone recently called me to ask if I had a CD from our tribute band - some friend of theirs "wanted to burn a copy." Hmmm. No mention of "can he BUY a copy" whatsoever.

It's truly notable how people like that (just about everyone, really) have no inkling of how much time & money it cost to produce even a CD of cover tunes. It's really no different than someone saying "hey - I like that lawnmower you bought, I want to use it whenever I want, without paying you a dime." I wonder how THAT would go over? And so, here's what I think:

Anyone who is hoping to make money from digital content (music, movies, software) is out of touch with reality - there's simply no way to protect it. More, you can count on it being pirated/copied/downloaded almost from the minute it goes live. The ONLY company I'm aware of who figured out how to address that is Digidesign (Pro Tools). You can't run their program without having their hardware interface. So, although you can get the software anywhere, they know you have to buy at least SOMETHING to use their product (smart).

Here's more content from our appearance on WGN Morning News. Admittedly, we did not play "Midnight Special"on-air; however, as our version of the traditional classic is one of the better-produced tunes we have at this time, I thought it might be the best match for the sweet sweet photos by Dietrich Zeigler (on-site photog for the WGN show).

Labels: creedence again, creedence tribute, dietrich zeigler photography, wgn morning news

ALTHOUGH WGN MORNING NEW is far & away the best, most fun & most watched morning show in Chicago, I'm really wondering what the deal is with their online video clips? Specifically, compared to just about every other video you see online, their audio is WAAAYYYYYY quiet. You wonder if maybe the Tribune corporation got into some big contract with some company to handle that area, and then discovered there was a problem, but being a corporate giant, nobody wanted to admit a mistake was made (i.e., no culpability for career-smudging screwups), so they just keep limping along with what they've got?

Beyond that, they had a GREAT photographer (Deitrich Ziegler) shooting stills for their website; I'll be editing some video soon with his images. Here's the web-only version of us doing "Fortunate Son" (early in the morning). I think Richard Perez does an unbelievable version of the tune... and check out Montana taking his shirt off mid-tune. Hey, whatever gets the chicks coming around is fine with me (and the dudes always follow the chicks).

Labels: creedence again, deitrich ziegler, richard perez, wgn morning news

The inimitable Steven Adler of Guns N Roses was here in Blue Island last week, for nearly a week; it's always good to see that boy. Although I was told he was here to record some tracks (he said he wants to knock out an EP of 4 - 5 new original tunes), they ended up not doing even one song (!?!?!?).

It's not hard to get him going about his favorite topic: A GNR reunion. The thing that got him going was when I told him I was betting on him as being "the last Gunner standing." Meaning: my money is on him to be the last surviving member of the original lineup. Why?

Well... with all the abuse he's put himself through (plus several admitted suicide attempts), he's still going strong -mostly. He's like a charming cockroach, only with great rhythm, millions of dollars and millions of fans. To be a great rock drummer - and he very much still is, it's great to watch him going through his chops - I believe that requires a lot of core strength. Not to mention having the stamina to keep all those other bigger-than-life Gunners in check onstage. And so... my GNR deadpool says Adler will be the last Gunner standing.

P.S. On another note... he didn't say this was confidential, so I'm mentioning it here: He just signed a book deal with Simon & Schuster, should be released sometime in 2010. Although he wanted to call it "No Bed Of Roses," the publishers went with the title "My Appetite For Destruction." GOOD LUCK BRO!

Labels: blue island, chip z'nuff, rock n roll chef, steven adler

I thought this was a dynamite idea when I was first contacted about it in early 2009 by Michael Stanard. Michael seems to wear many hats in Woodstock (Illinois), including owning Galt Airport. The airport is also used as an outdoor concert venue; the concept was to re-create the original Woodstock of 1969 with tribute bands. LOVE IT.

Unbeknownst to many, Creedence Clearwater Revival played at Woodstock, although somehow nobody bother to film them?!?!?!? Now, that is crazy - arguably one of the best American bands ever with more top-ten hits than even the Beatles, and the cameras ignore them?

Regardless, Creedence Again (our CCR tribute) is on the bill, and it should be a fun one. We're hearing about a 5-camera video shoot with jibs, HD cameras, multi-track audio recording, etc. We perform Saturday, August 15 around 4PM (?). And watch for our appearance on WGN Morning News the day before, between 8 - 9AM.

Labels: ccr tribute, creedence again, galt aiport, richard perez, wgn morning news, woodstock tribute show